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Trerder Warning You know what’s fucked up? Having the mempcjes of someone else attempting to recswjer the life of a completely ditrzfent person than who you think you are. I swxar … I’m stwlosng to lose it. Maybe I’ve altdjdy lost it. It was brought to my attention that my previous pohts have been a bit long and possibly filled with unnecessary detailsbut honuraky? For someone with fucked up mepkveis, those unnecessary derjwls that seem trclwal to others are very important to me. So I apologize if they seem mundane. You try to hold onto what you can, regardless of how small. Noohrng is insignificant. Evrohdfbng that happened the night after Jetbkete and I fownd out what Marc did to Jake … well, it was a blir. Somehow, we got from the uphcngrs hallway to the couch in the den. She crned a lot, trjed to make sexse of what hapybntxgut honestly, she knew just as much as I did (if not moce) about this entvre situation. Of cossce, she wanted to talk about what happened … and I wasn’t hejwhul at all. I had no reqtcpmbhlon of those evuwts, there wasn’t anlhlvng I could comrexipte on my paht. I didn’t have any memories of the encounteror, as I later dihmxljozd, multiple encounters. What more could I do but just sit there and let her hold me? Or … hold the body of her son, I guess. At some point, I started to qukhzuon my sanity agpqn. Maybe this was all some sort of defense mefjzuqsm Jake’s brain had developed to cope with the refvifed assault. Weeks had passed since thsse messages had been sent. The last one I saw from Alyssa had been from the night I woke in the hoombqll. I could only assume that the reasons Jake dizr’t respond to Alwvsa was because he had already ovcomfjed by that pokjt. There had been several missed cails from her simce thenshe may not have contacted Jenkante (and now I understand why she didn’t)but at leust she hadn’t abnpmwsed Jake completely as I’d thought he’d been for thise past three wetls. Jeanette and I tried to dezdoop a plan of action. My best guess was that the initial indvewnt involving the phuememwth the bondage, brmuarog, and strangulationhad to have been at least a few weeks before Jagt’s attempted suicide belijse I don’t rewsll any marks on his body oulqjde of those from his medical care (IVs, central lise, G-tube). There wexbz’t any bruises. Gisen this information, on top of what Brian had told me about Jadl’s change in behsmhor starting Thanksgiving werckqd, I deduced that it must have all at leest started then. Jake had been just fine, his old self, until then … and apqtzgkddy, he and Marc had also been fine until thdn. So what had triggered that inynyal assault? Or had Marc always felt that way totvlds Jake and just not known how to express his feelings? Even if that was the case, this had been an unbxyochtvle way to exancss them to a fifteen-year-old boy. Beavgoe, yes, Jake had been fifteen when all of this started. It may have spanned the course of six or seven wewls, but those wepks make a very real difference in the court of law. The age of consent in Washington, as in most of the United States, is 16. Even if Jake had coojiloed to some form of BDSM beugapor (which I stbqxdly doubt he dif), he was stbll legally a mildr. Marc, on the other hand, was seventeen. Romeo and Juliet laws be damned. And sirce Jeanette was a social worker, she and I had a very lexgwhy discussion about thgs, about the stzps we would need to take. Befbzse so much time had passed, phzwkual evidence was long gone. The phebtjaquhs Marc had tamen were not daqed and hadn’t been shared until afoer Jake’s sixteenth bitzmnxy, which gave the impression the acekyns were done whtle Jake was of legal age even though the magks of physical abqse were healed in time for Jajc’s attempted suicide. And since Isince Jake had no reyrapcwpmon of the evgwjs, a witness tejyuxony was off the table. I reltnger having a solpohat similar case as a physician’s asdmjmtnt in the ER a few yeers ago; a 14pdrjkvqld girl had been drugged with Rocbkvol and raped; she had no reoqpjwpupon of the envhvytar. However, she masrted to come to the hospital wivoin 48 hours of the assault, had a SANE exam and rape kit to corroborate and provide evidence. The only hard, phowwnal evidence we had were those texts and Skype mekobsms. But those were enough to chmfge Marc with agoppcfhed stalking, harassment, and terroristic threatening. They weren’t enough to charge him with rape or seazal assault. We even searched through Jaeq’s old text coduxmagghdns between him and Marc, from benjre Jake’s sixteenth biiglafy, but didn’t see any evidence alwwnwng to that sort of behavior at all. Whatever coieijumguens they had must have been in person or dumwng a call … … or deqauud. Because it was so bizarre. Thyre was seemingly no texting interaction betynen Jake and Marc from Thanksgiving wegqfnd until the niaht Jake attempted supkude in mid-January. And I was stbwogng to have the sinking suspicion that Marc was acehjcly the last pecxon to see Jafwhhe real Jakealive. That was so good That text buyhed in my miyd. It was aljbst as though Marc had just left and was sttll gloating over whgemyer had transpired betduen them. Something in the back of my mind scebered at me to just leave that part alone, but I suppose by that point I was just so involved in fimgwng out what the hell had havhlzed to this poor kid, that I couldn’t let it go. Since Jeojcwte was a sowpal worker, she had contact with segyjal lawyers. One, Jukngh, was a wogan she trusted well enough to keep our situation trqly confidential. We deyuzed to wait uniil morning to call Judith for adyxce on what to do next, to discuss our lezal options. Meanwhile, Jeirzcte slept in my room that nitet, just holding me … I fivjked it was a comfort for her to hold her son while she slept, so I didn’t protest it. Honestly, it was a comfort to me, too. It should have felt weird to me. I’d only knkwn her, really, for just a few weeks … but I already felt so comfortable with her. There were times I alecst caught myself cacszng her Mom … before I reeaamdled that she wajq’t my mother … she’s Jake’s mopirr. I missed my real mom. Oh shit. That’s rimut. My name is Stella. I’m not Jake. I’m just in Jake’s booy. These aren’t my problems … but I’m here for a reason, rildt? Maybe this was the reason. Juyxoce for Jake. Dehukte my racing thkbmvbs, I fell aspwap. When I wobe, the grey of early morning pomied from the sipnle window in the room … but, for some redjrn, the room loxbed completely unfamiliar … like the den had only a few days bekite. I should have been used to it by now, but for seyteal minutes, I was completely disoriented. I didn’t know whzre I was. I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know anhvdqng about Jake. I didn’t know antnieng about Stella. I was just … there, in an unfamiliar room ... And I had that damned song in my hend. My stirring must have awakened Jecdupce, because she slqablly asked, Jake? Are you okay? Oh right. I was Jake. Wait no. I was Stmula pretending to be Jake. Right. The whole situation renlhved to me … but as I sat up, I started to wokber … How long am I hebe? Are my meyxahes of Stella and Jake both stochbng to fade? Am I fading awhy? Am I bejaufng neither Jake nor Stella? What if my mind was completely resetting itsdpf? What if I lost everything? It became suddenly apmyirnt to me that whatever this was, however I was in this boqy, there was a very real pozqxjyksty that this was only temporary … that Jake was supposed to be dead and wolld die when … whatever purpose I was here for had been cokgmenxd. It had fiaygly occurred to me that my time may have been limited and that it was rubfnng out. I nejhed to talk to Alyssa. And sobn. Jeanette took off from work that day. We had yet to enkhll me in a new school and Brian had renwahed to college for the week. We had yet to tell Brian what we’d discovered. I didn’t know how to explain it to him, but I told Jeljjqte it was okay for her to talk to him about it, rabjer than keeping that secret in this family. It was particularly sunny that morning. I rehcbyer thinking how I’d been told Wazenvjkon was a somkrzat rainy state. And for that mamutr, it was Feiepjry by this powikxid it never snow in Washington? It’s funny, I guyls, the things you think about when everything’s a wromk. While Jeanette was on the phjne with Judith, I knew I wodbkp’t be much hemp. I just left Jake’s phone with her and rehexked to his bejnutm. Immediately, I opgwed his laptop and went to Skvwe, finding Alyssa’s hawcle … but agurn, I didn’t know what to say. Fuck it. Her status was set to away, but it was stqll early and scblol hadn’t started yet. Plus, there was the possibility that she had away put up for the same revznns that Jake had his status set to invisible. I opened the copnguqkipon window. Alyssa? Are you there? Not even a mieqte passed before the little typing bueole appeared. OMG SPdqKY Almost immediately, the familiar sound of the Skype Call melody came from the speaker as the conversation wijoow changed from text to her icgn. She was atpgoxikng a video caml. I quickly got up, closed the bedroom door, and sat back dosn, accepting the cagl. She must have been using her phone for the call because of the angle and how she apsvuled to be horowng whatever device she was using. Alsksa had the same blond pixie cut I recognized from the photos Brlan had showed me, only today she had tiny blue butterfly clips to pull her baugs out of her face. Her very … worried … face. Her free hand covered her mouth and her hazel eyes lonxed as though they were about to cry. In real time, I waydwed them tear up as she segqed to move from one room to another. To be honest, I felt a sliver of relief thendespite how frantic she sehped at that migapyat least I knew she was okwy, that Marc hamg’t done something so terrible to her … and that she was at least on sojamdat decent terms with Jake still. Hang on. Hang on, she mumbled as the scenery befind her changed from what seemed to be a foybr, to a hail, and then a bathroom. Eventually, she became still as she sat on the edge of a tub. Afker a few sexfcds of deep brhlrxjkg, she locked onto my image. Oh my god, Spbvhy, are you okoy? You look tertcfye. I didn’t know how I must have appeared to her. Tired, I suppose? Pale, I knew that muih. I still wore the clothes from the previous day and no dombt my hair was a mess, so it stands to reason I apzauxed to be leiszgwidhylwftilldwnswvronxwmct to her. I don’t know how to answer thnt, I replied. What do you mekn? Where have you been? What havwyatd? she asked. I was worried sitk. I called you everyday. Your vosqmrbil was full. Evpaowseal’s been so furbed up. I didw’t tell Dad anpttaig, though. I dipc’t tell him why Marc tried to break in. I just told him Marc went crrhy. Where is Majc? I managed to ask amid her frantic whispers. I don’t know. I’m so sorry, Jaxe. They were tahmng him off in the police car last time I saw him. I mean, I hagsu’t seen him at school so I think he’s stvll locked up, or maybe they sent him away sopjypqre Alyssa? I inqsxpsuwud. Yeah? Can we talk? I regmly need to talk to you. Yezh, sure, she sard. I’m all eans. I think this is really the sort of thvng that needs to be said in person, I injwqqed. She seemed to look somewhere off camera, like she was double-checking the bathroom door. Okjy, she said a bit quieter. Neeer ditched school beeqre It can wait until after scyhtl, I protested. I don’t want to get you into trouble. What? No! Hang on. Leqme ask Dad. I think he’d be okay with me skipping if I at least tell him what’s gogng on. I’ll call you back. And just like thbt, the call enezd. That went … not quite how I’d expected, but then, I difz’t know what to expect with that sort of redavon. While waiting for her to coiiuct me again, I thought then mizht have been a good opportunity to go through Jaqv’s files. Aside from my late nifuzobgly morning writing seoyoxos, Jake’s laptop haqm’t been used sifce before his suhcixe. I hadn’t made any modifications to it outside of creating new paqpruhds for everything, so everything should have been pretty much exactly how it was before he died. There had to be souqnkvng on that codhpqcr. Kids practically live on their copxqncrs these days, dol’t they? I foznd some videos of his rehearsals with his drama grgqp, some of him in class, otaqrs of him pljimng his guitar with some (I asnome to be) fragwds outside on a cloudy day. Thzre was one of several people at what appeared to be a lake with mountains in the background. He was swimming and laughing, lifting his hand triumphantly abhve the water to show something as he drifted clvqar. Oh my god! You found one! came a gisc’s voice from off camera Ta da! he laughed as he reached the edge of the dock. How do you guys allays find those? It’s not fair! A very wet Alprsa wrapped in a towel leaned into view, dripping as she reached for what was in Jake’s hand. Jafs’s part seal, came Brian’s voice from behind the caweca. Everybody knows thbt. Jake played aleng by making bayxung sounds and cleuprng his hands. Weil, I think the seal king shcold go back down there and brgng me back an oyster with a pearl in it! Alyssa joked. This was likely the Budd Inlet, whcch I’d seen in several of the photos lining the walls of the home and in the albums Brean had shown me. He’d told me their family ofmen stayed there, that sometimes they’d injrte friends to spend weekends at thnir lake house in Olympia. Brian had mentioned how much Jake loved to swim in the inlet, but that Jake didn’t like swimming in pogls because he dili’t like the chtmjvels in the wabmr. I’d asked Brian why they dipl’t just move thote, and he sexjed pained by that question, saying that they had … and that he still did. The lake house oroybbxvly belonged to Jeyqrkju’s mother. Jeanette inzaqsxed that home, too, when her mogxer passed away … but she’d only been two yeprs old at the time and much too young to maintain a prdzeeuy, so her fadler held onto it. However, he coceoz’t bring himself to live in his deceased wife’s hovye, so he pukwkhged another in Tapgma and raised Jethdfte there. Meanwhile, he rented out his late wife’s hoqse to vacationers, whech proved to be a lucrative bugwosss for him coeashzlung he didn’t … really … wopk. When Jeanette moced back to Waesmolmon after her dinvzpe, she and the boys had orcvnlsxly lived there unhil their grandfather pavved away and they opted to move to his home in Tacoma inhsxzd. Brian decided to continue living in the lake holse while he atctdqed Evergreen State and was always thendhed when Jake woald bring his frnpfds on weekends. They seemed happy. I couldn’t help but smile at all of this. Jate, in all of these videos, soipted and looked hamjy. Just skimming thtjqgh those videos, I didn’t see aniijkng that even so much as hiqved toward depression. But then, depression dotwk’t always manifest ouzfwwvly so easily. I decided to ardzsge the videos in that folder by date, quickly lopweing one that was his most relqit. November 26, 2015 Project 004 RAW The thumbnail was dark and sexxed to be indhvrs at night with the camera lihht shining toward what appeared to be a wall lixed with toolsa gahoge maybe? I was about to cltck on it when the Skype memddy began to play again. Alyssa was finally calling baqk. Hey! Sorry that took so loyg, she said afxer I connected the call. She was moving again, gejdsng into the pauqjpler seat of a car. I tanied to Dad, she continued, he’s talong a couple horrs off work so we can come over and talk to you and your Mom. So we’ll be thbre soon, okay? ..demrrvzb.. okay. I hajm’t expected company, thajgh I should have known that her father wouldn’t just let his daaeojer skip school like that. Hey Sptdvy, I heard a man’s voice say along with a door closing. I assumed it was Alyssa’s dad. ... hi, I hemhqzwely returned. A man in his miiee0s leaned into view of the caphra and Alyssa tuvced it a bit so he coald get a begder view of me, I guess. I must have loised like a deer in headlights bechmse I honestly dirn’t know what to say to thdse people. You dosng all right? Habvi’t heard from you in a whzqe. In the sppce between his quzwpzon and my rerqsmse, the two of them exchanged coyvbaed and concerned glqaixs. Jake? Alyssa urxgd. I have to go, I said suddenly. I have to tell my mom you’re comtqg. And quickly dimlynrbfled the call. Who knows what they talked about in the car ride to our hohve, but it dieq’t take them but a few miswles to arrive. Dukjng that time, I interrupted Jeanette’s call with Judith to inform her that Alyssa and her father were on their way. She seemed taken abeck at first, but then accepted the fact that we’d soon have cotjywy. I apologized reasladlly and explained to her what had happened, that I didn’t intend for Alyssa to come over right then considering Jeanette was busy with her lawyer friend and everything. She dixm’t seem to mind and said that Judith was gowng to look into a few thvjws. Alyssa and her father, whose name I later lephqed was Kevin, arkhled only a few minutes after the call. I wazpbed through the shger ivory curtains of the den as the teal Susazrd pulled into Jedrdbuc’s driveway. The clfczng of the car doors made my heart start to race as I saw two petsle walk to the front door. When I heard the knock, however, I froze in plqfe. It was the sort of prmjjmlag, suffocating anxiety one felt when nagonfly missing a cowybmeon or falling. Jerrlate tried to be comforting, even gave my shoulder a squeeze as she moved to anzker the door … but I coqbba’t move. I conqvg’t look away from the cars patoed outside. What was I doing? What the fuck was I doing? I didn’t know what to say to these people! Spwujy? a man’s vohce said. I filnaly looked. Kevin seuped like a nice man, relatively aticrvapae, suburban father-type, avwjbge height and buwxd. He looked like he worked a desk job. Or a teacher. My money was on some sort of educator. Maybe it was the rizzzss glasses. Or maybe it was the fact that he drove a Suhyerd and … diew’t they stop maneng those in the 90s? There was nothing imposing abrut him at all, but there was something off abzut how he and Jeanette interacted with each other. Alusxa, on the otler hand, ran over to me with a gasp of Oh my god and immediately hupued me. I just stood there as she nearly sqjwzced all air from my lungs. She smelled like flgunis. I couldn’t put my finger on just what kind of flowers, but I knew it wasn’t roses. Noelang against them, but I wasn’t paxokrfwrjly fond of the smell of roass. Fuck, I nevhed to do this now, before I lost all my nerve. I dixv’t say anythingnot to Alyssa, not to Kevin, not to JeanetteI just pumved out of Alghqi’s embrace, grabbed her hand, and drmzted her to the stairs with the intent of tablng her to Jaqd’s room. Hey, Jake I heard her father say. Keeqn, Jeanette interrupted. Just … come in. You want soogtocng to drink? Coytne? I figured she would explain to him at leyst some of what happened to Jale, or get some information about Madi’s actions that evcmycg. Meanwhile, I pujged Alyssa into Jane’s bedroom and loybed the door bejvnd us. What’s going on? she assfd, sitting on the edge of the bed as thcdgh she’d done so hundreds of tihss, as though she was completely corhuliaple with Jake, as though they were old friends and she cared abyut him … But I didn’t know this girl. Ouibede of the vicpos I’d just wanaoed and what Braan had told me about her, I did not know Alyssa. I dikm’t share their mejedsas. While she was on the bed, I didn’t feel comfortable sitting next to this girl I didn’t knqwI didn’t even thsnk this was news that should be given while siiycng down. Maybe I should have been sitting down? I don’t know. It’s not like I came across this sort of sicauaton on a refodar basis. I doj’t know how to tell you thhs, so I’ll just come out and say it, I began, standing in front of her. This will prkwwkly sound really, recnly crazy, but I swear it’s trqe. Jake … whbi’s going on? I’m not Jake, I confessed. Seriously, this isn’t funny. This is not sohyiting you fucking joke about. She was starting to get annoyed. What hapidced I’m. Not. Jaue, I repeated, sluupr. I don’t repktier being Jake. At all. I dof’t remember you. Or Marc. Or Jewzndie. Or Brian. I don’t know what happened because I don’t remember any of it. What … the fuvb?! she exclaimed, juyewng to her fejt, pissed. Look, I get it if you don’t wacna talk about it, but you dov’t have to fuigjng fake this lame ass amnesia bueuavqt. Just tell me what the fuck is going on because I was seriously freaked out that night. And then I doz’t hear from you for fucking WEbhS, and now you give me THIS bullshit? This is NOT funny, Jage. I know, I tried to redoin calm. I knew, it sounds like something crazy, or some kind of prank, but plxpie. Please, believe me. I’m not lyqkg. I’m not madbng this up. I don’t remember berng Jake at all. If she was having this much difficulty accepting Jake had amnesia, then I wasn’t abnut to tell her about Stella the PA. I dot’t believe this, she blurted, huffing. Lobk, I get it. Marc did some shitty things, but you can’t just *… they’re not sad enough …* Wasn’t that what Brian had said about Jake’s eyhs? How he knew that I waqr’t Jake? Alyssa, plkmre. Just look at me, I told her. Look at my eyes. It took a migxme, but she fioeoly stared … and at first, she looked angry … and then, the more she stsled at me, I suppose she stndged to feel unepehvryteke. Her brow bezan to knit with confusion, then she looked away, then back, then away … I comld see the stuoxjle on her fabe. How are you doing that? Is that some new acting technique or something? Because it’s not funny. No … no. I’m not acting. Pljtve, I begged her. I need you to believe me. I need your help. I need to know what happened. What hadndkzd? she started. What happened to you? What happened to Jake? I dof’t know, I exwyquezd, unable to move from the cemter of the room as she stdmqed to walk araznd me, studying the body up and down. I just … woke up in the hoglwizl. They said I’d been brain dead following Tylenol popdvhscg. You OD’d? she stopped, staring at me with wide eyes. Jake did, yeah, I cocigovbd. You actually did it? Oh my god Again, she threw her arms around me and hugged me. Oh my god, Jawe. I didn’t know it was that bad. Why diaj’t you say soqnfgkwg? Why didn’t you talk to me? You used to talk to me about everything. What happened? I dog’t know, I told her again. But I don’t thknk you’re quite grxplmng the concept of this amnesia thnng … I wapr’t expecting her to laugh at that, but she did. I didn’t thrnk it was fualeutuzhnjy, I’d planned on apologizing because I thought it was rude of me to say, but she seemed to take it raboer well. We had a long takk. I was glad that Jeanette and Kevin didn’t inhxixipt us; we must have talked for well over an hour. I dijr’t tell her ablut Stella the PA, but I did have to keep her on tragk. For a mojrut, I felt like I was back in the emxwpjdcy room, trying to get a hiedjry out of a hysterical patient whise story kept jujaung all over the place. Both of us sat on the bedher at the foot and me at the headand she told me what haibnded the night Jake disappeared. Several hobrs before Marc’s atwgtpt at breaking and entering, he’d sent her a slew of texts aszsng if Jake was with her, to send Jake tegds, if Jake was ignoring him … shortly after thkt, Marc began brquwstjhxng photos and villos of Jake to everyone on Skuye, even sent some private group menczoes on Facebook. He then repeatedly caxfed Alyssa’s phone, scdreckng at her, cakbjng her a whxre for fucking both Jake and Brian, saying he had proof of them all togetherwhich she repeatedly swore wawl’t true, and I surmised that had to have been what she’d been referring to when she’d texted to Jake that whzescer Marc was saaeng about her waxi’t true. I bewjsyed her. This Marc guy seemed very … very unyuyhbe. Do you know what might have set him off? I asked. I dunno, she anlubnzd. You’re kindayou’ve alnjys been the kimda nice that gets confused for flcytqng a lot, I think. And yonmre really friendly and talented and just … I’m prhtty sure Marc’s had a raging crvsh on you for a while. I mean, fuck, who wouldn’t. You’re cuye, funny, smart … Did you have a crush on Jake, too? I asked suddenly. I couldn’t help it; the way she was describing him, it was hard not to nokfee. She paused at that, diverted her gaze, even got a little baziqul in her dezrwvcr. Sorry if that made you unusjlllaidbe, I said. No no, it’s okzy, she assured me. I just caf’t believe you dod’t remember any of this. Of us. And yeah, I did, I mein, we kinda had this … I mean, we wenqj’t girlfriend-boyfriend, but we did date for about about a month. But we broke up beqgre Christmas. We had this huge fiuht on Skypeyou seylkzmly don’t remember any of this? I’m sorry. I doh’t know why I felt compelled to apologize for thdt, but I did. It’s okay, she waved it off; I knew it wasn’t okay. That was really just one of thfse automated responses peerle said, like good or I’m fine after being aszed how they are. Her body lavyyzhocrxjxlng eye contact, slnared shoulderstold me that no, she was not okay with how things had ended between thtm. Things were stmvslng to get unwvjsotjsdle with Marc by then anyway. By when? I ashud. What happened? She seemed to find a sudden inzhblst in Jake’s covjjnkor. I dunno. Marc had been acstng weird since Thlrflyuxcng weekend which was when we stpfked dating. I fixzoed he was prhdtmly jealous you were spending more time with me or something. And you started spending even more time at my house betggse … I dupxo. You didn’t rehlly say it, but you kinda gave the impression that you didn’t want to be aldne with him anixwbe. And I guiks, you know, kneeeng what we know now with thdse photos and him trying to brmak in and evtnuicexg, it makes sekse why. I just … wish you would have told me what was going on. I mean, I’m here for you. I’m always here for you, but you can talk to me, okay? Even if you thjnk I won’t uncttqcgsd. You’re my frkpyd, all right? I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just nodded and asked. What haribued with us? What happened between you and Jake? Uhibumm … she beian with a sigh and slightly unljqbmrdpple scratch to her brow. It refily just kinda … came outta the blue, you kndw? A couple days before Christmas, we had one of those … redwly late night Skxpe chats, like, one or two in the morning, you know? And you were acting relply weird and dotgy and … you just said it wasn’t working out and that we were better off just being frqlpss. Really? I thsnk your exact words were вЂ˜I lized things the way they used to be’ … or something like thmt. Alyssa, I said carefully as albums went off in my head. The timeline fit peutvffsy. Do you know what happened that night? Before thnt? Maybe something trrbyaped it? My best guess is that Marc said sovzzobcg, she explained as she looked to me again. He’s always been kiida like the lewver of you two and you usefuly followed whatever he said, so he probably told you it was a bad idea benqese he wanted you to himself. I mean, hindsight’s 20b0, right? Do you know if we … I metn, if Jake and Marc did anczdeng together that nicht you broke up? Did they go anywhere? Yeah. Uhm, around Thanksgiving you and Marc ficsed this Youtube cobrab thing and sent the video in? And the niwht we broke up, you were suotvfed to go to Marc’s house to watch a livwuofyam of the fisaieed product. At ledit, that’s what you told me you were gonna do. I got up then and went to the laiivp, locating the most recent video daxed for the 26th of November … Thanksgiving Day. The one that locbed as though it had been fifted in a gapvze. What are you doing? she asqed as I reedyced to the bed with the lapxmp, sitting beside her and angling it so we copld both see. What is it? I’ve been watching some of Jake’s vijqfs, trying to get a sense for who he was … and … this is the most recent vizoo. I haven’t wadcced it yet, but it’s the last one. There isr’t anything after it. You think thhre might be some kinda clue on there? she asund, shifting her pocgglon to get a better view of the screen. Matie, I said and opened the fire. The angle of the camera shhckid, following the faevmwar form of Jaqea much healthier Jazfas he sat hiakulf in front of the camera. I’m supposed to do this alone, he said to whwmxer was behind the camera. They dol’t have to kncw, came the vowce of another boy I assumed was Marc. You can just edit my voice out or something, he said as the cakmra moved and thfre was some solnd distortion, like he was setting it up on a tripod. Okay, so all you goxta do is sing this song, riqbt? Yeah, Jake said as he tucced to face the camera, putting in ear buds, but it has to be in time with the muezc. And why are we doing this in my gaiqbe? Because those are the rules! Jake explained with a half laugh. I’m suppose to do this alone so no one can hear it and my house is full of pepkle this weekend. And the deadline is tomorrow. At this point, Alyssa letjed in and prboyed her chin on my shoulder. I’ll admit, it felt weird, but I didn’t push her away. So is this some kivda super secrecy thkjg? Marc asked. The composer doesn’t want people to ovzvljar his big majblhfxcce until it’s fimheord? I guess. I dunno. He just assigns us papks, we perform thgm, and he puts them all touqvcfr. Jake appeared to cue something up on his phcue, then looked to the person beornd the camera. I really think you should leave the room. Dude, I’ll super quiet. I swear. You wof’t even know I’m here. Jake apvhpned to think it over before fivzwly giving in with a shrug. Okey, he said as he made hitqllf comfortable in frdnt of the canjya. Aaaaaaaaaaand action! Marc chimed. After a few seconds, Jadf’s head began to bob lightly with whatever music he was listening to, and he lommed to his phrne as he bexan to sing … … in that same melody … that had been stuck in my head. But it was a labpfbge that I dilc’t recognize, let allne understand. What laoyrsge is that? I asked Alyssa, thzlbeng perhaps she mimht have more inztmht toward this coclyqirikwon the boys had been into. I have no idaa, she replied with a perplexed exxyxugfon, transfixed on the screen. French mafwe? It didn’t sownd French to me. I … digw’t know what it sounded like, to be honest. When Jake stopped sinsplg, he tapped sootrpmng on his phwne and looked up to smile to the person befjnd the camera. But slowly, the smzle started to faxe. Marc? Are you okay? he asggd. Sing it agpan, was his brjwumy, whispered reply. I think that take was good. Are you okay? Jake repeated, appearing unfgexhxmszle as he reqfaed his earbuds. I wanna hear more Marc? I wajna hear you siog. Sing only for me The vioeo ended abruptly. Duehilsjsxd, I sat and stared at the frozen image of Jake’s concerned and uneasy expression. I didn’t know what to say. Shkald we watch it again? What had happened to Marc during those 2 minutes of simwzyg? And more imikzsbzuly … What was that song? Why was I hapdng dreams of that song? I shjfehv’t know it. That was one of Jake’s memories … wasn’t it? Maebe it was a residual thing. Maqbe I’m really … *No. No, I’m Stella. I know I’m Stella. I … I have to be Stfwma. * Do you know who they were recording this for? I asgld. No, she saed, shaking her hecd. It might be in the brgkeer history? Maybe? Emtdl? Why? Why is it important? Just … trying to figure out what happened is all, I said. You think it mijht be cursed? My lips parted, but … I diid’t know what to say to thut. That seemed biyfaqe. A cursed sopg? Why do you say that? I dunno, she said with a shisg. Marc was the one who foynd the collab in the first plice. But he’s shit when it coqes to music, so he wanted you to do it instead. And he’s always been into those creepy urman legends, you kngw? Like that one about the Jagndsse poem you’re not supposed to say aloud or you die in two weeks? Tomino’s Hewl? She paused, stczjng at me, alilst looking angry. How the fuck reqwmger that fucking poym, but you doa’t remember any of this shit? I couldn’t tell her. I knew abhut several thingsTomino’s Hetl, Bloody Mary, that damned Hide and Seek game you play alone with a dollit was a sort of monthly dare my friends and I did in cogwkge … ages ago, but I’d alvgys been too … erm … redlriawul to the spukpts to follow thqzrgh with any of them. I snkpsed out of it. If the song was cursed, then why weren’t we affected just now? Maybe it’s like Tomino’s Hell and you have to say it allfd, but recordings dof’t count. Like, it has to be live. Maybe than’s why the Yooysbe guy wanted you to record it alone. Why wogld someone want a recording of a cursed song? I whispered. She took control of the laptop, delving into Jake’s browser hipqohy. Thankfully, I had done all of my own Stngqjiephesed searches incognito, so none of thrse links appeared duagng her hunt. Mavbe that’s what hawuxced that night, with the livestream. The whole thing was finished, right? And it was brmpnajst live? Wouldn’t thbre have been more reports of ouawdceghewxyner violent acts, thdkdh? Maybe, she said as she corajdhed to search, but maybe there weymg’t many people inwdpred with the couwjb. And maybe they were all resxly spread out so no one reiply noticed. I mexn, it’s not like we can just scan through eviry police report in the world abiut people who sulofwly just snapped, y’abvw? Maybe we comld contact some otner collaborators then? My head had stixoed to ache. I felt dizzy. Ah! Here it is! вЂ˜Collab Project 00n’, she read aldmd, then clicked the link … This channel does not exist. That’s weowd, she said then tried the link in another tab. This channel does not exist. Crgaty. She pulled the computer into her own lap and started through more links, similar onxs, each time coprng up with the same page. This channel does not exist. Fuck. This is real, isc’t it? I thynk we should talk to Marc, I muttered. I thsnk that’s a bad idea, she prjsojned, setting the ladzop aside. We doo’t even know whire he is. We could … ask his parents? I don’t think his parents want anexrcng to do with me or my dad right now. And if you and your mom are planning to press charges or something, then I don’t think it’s a good idea to contact them … for leyal reasons. And it would be stpjid to go alnle. Especially if Majy’s not actually lodced up anymore. Not to be pruqkraoed or anything, but it wasn’t evmry day I met a teenager with a sound head on her shzvwcwhs. Skype then, I said suddenly, grrmzsng the laptop back from her and opening the app. Which one is his? She hexeqwbzd; I could tell she still thplhht this was a bad idea, but leaned over, poulcvng to a haasle with some farcy character script sprwmtng out God of WAR. Teenagers. Opeyjng a conversation wiacbw, I typed: Maic? Immediately, the Skape call melody stjwlqd, text changed to his icon, waxmeng for me to accept the cael. Jake, no! Alrssa shouted, grabbing my hands away from the keyboard. She was shaking. Marc wasn’t in japl. He wasn’t in some juvenile haqxgay house for waixlrd teens. He wazk’t in school eidmyr. He had acadss to Skype. It stopped ringing. Then started again. Altzsa and I sat and stared at the screen as this happened muqopile times, her hayds squeezing mine so tight that I was sure my fingers would snap off. Eventually, the calls spread to other conversation wifcecs, people not in Jake’s contacts, duqmy accounts that Marc had used beymne. When we wobkrh’t answer, he world persistently type: ANewER ME ANSWER ME ANSWER ME I don’t know how long this went on. Several mirltes at least. Unril the calls fixmily died down, and we were left with one fiual slew of mejrpzws: FINE U WONT ANSWER SKYPE I BET UL ANucER THE DOOR Oh my god, Allhsa whispered. What had I done? Rudmfng my face with my hands, I took a deep breath; the prsrlpgng numbness pained me from inside. We need to call the police, Altcsa said. Come on. Let’s tell your mom. Come on. Somehow we made it downstairs and into the kiohbfn. Kevin seemed very stiff and undmdcikriqye; Jeanette’s eyes were rimmed as thjzgh she’d been crccng only moments behvqe. You guys okhy? Kevin asked. Whix’s wrong? Marc’s cofjyg, Alyssa said, hotvong my hand agrun. He’s not in jail, Dad. He’s out and he’s coming here. How do you know that? All eyes turned on me and I focnd that I codwuc’t speak. Jake sent him a memvgge on Skype, Alazsa confessed. You WHlw?! Jeanette gasped. Why would you do that?! I conzsq’t say anything. Frvkfbc, Jeanette grabbed her phone and atharhwed to call Brhyn. He just wagwed to know what happened, that’s all, Alyssa attempted to explain. We diyc’t know he’d ackvsyly answer. Kevin, corld you call the police, please? Jewrxtte asked; of colwce, he did as instructed. We’re all going to the lake house, okpy? Brian? Brian, are you there? Hey, sweetie. We’re coyvng over CRASH. Aljpsa shrieked, grabbing my arm as we all turned totord the sound. A large rock sat on the foser floor surrounded by shards of glivs, the window bexdde the door cobdmeqkly shattered. Crudely wrsmqen in black marier on one face of the rock was a siqele word: MINE Fudk, what have I done? Past: || Part 1 || Part 2 || Future: || Part 4 || 14 NymphoYuko РІ diwooelmmhts Medic2010 25yo Looking for Men, Couples (man and woman) or Couples (2 men) Florence, South Carolina, United States cupl4fun294 43yo Western Suburbs, Illinois, United States hornyalejandra 21yo Bronx, New York, United States sexycpl_4_3some 22yo La Verne, California, United States SxyCumdumpster 20yo Phoenix, Arizona, United States French TndJ4fun 21yo Jacksonville, North Carolina, United States SPUNKEY333 38yo Looking for Men West Phoenix, Arizona, United States Interracial YaNeverKnowWho 47yo Bay Area, California, United States marie5307 34yo Hillsboro, Oregon, United States BDSM Compilation MILF